The myth of a pastor's confession

I hear pastors all the time in sermons talk about their "confessions."  When I was a pastor, I admit that I was part of this trend as well.  Pastors like to do this for a couple of reasons.  One, they think it shows them as a "real" person.  Two, it's supposed to link them with all of their imperfect parishioners, thus making them more "relevant."  

As a former pastor, I can say this next statement with credibility: You're not really confessing anything.  All of these so called "confessions" are (I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but this is, in fact, the rule) just watered down sins that most likely only hint at what is really going on in their minds.  In some cases, they aren't even sins at all.  They usually take the form of "I don't read my Bible everyday" or "I don't pray enough."  These aren't sins, and when you pass them off as sins, you further alienate the crowd you're trying to relate to.  If you were sitting in a congregation and heard the pastor confess those "sins" to you, all the while you're struggling with something like a drug addiction, porn addiction, or the fact that you beat your kids and feel guilty about it, what would be going through your mind?  It would probably just heap on the guilt even more, and then make you realize more and more that this person speaking to you really doesn't struggle with anything at all.  This makes the pastor completely unapproachable.  

Another one I like is when a pastor talks about how he struggles with lust.  This rings of a true statement and confession, but, in fact, it isn't totally true.  If the pastor was honest, the confession would go something like this: "I struggle with lust.  In fact, I think all the time about bagging the lady sitting in the third row who wears the skimpy clothing."  But pastors can't really do that can they?  Not if they want to keep their jobs.  In all fairness, it isn't all the pastors fault.  The Church is to blame for a great deal of it.  We've created an artificial image of what we want our pastors to be, so the pastors feel they need to live up to it.  

A pastor can't be truly honest, because he can't afford to shatter that illusory image.  I did this when I was a pastor.  I harbored fantasies about certain female parishioners.  I wanted to tell that asshole what I really thought of him and his shitty theology.  I wanted to tell people that sometimes I wasn't sure if God was really there.  I wanted to tell the leadership in my church that I struggled with pornography, but I didn't.  I didn't because I needed the paycheck and I knew my honesty would get me fired.  

So where do we go from here?  How does the Church create a safe-haven for all people, including the leaders of the Church?  How do pastors find a safe haven if they can't get it where they're serving?